Consider this...

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

The concept of a monotheistic creator has had a long and varied career.

Step 1

The first step in the monotheistic Delusion took place a long, long time ago, maybe 5000 years or more(?).

When Abraham conceived of the idea of a god, he decided to name him Yahweh, which means something like “I Am That I Am.” Comprenne qui pourra. Which means, “Let him understand who can”, an equally obscure statement. [1]

By his own admission, Y was a jealous god. This characteristic has led noted scholar C. Northcote Parkinson, discoverer of the famous Law, to state that He is certainly a She. Parkinson notes, e.g., Y’s insistence that man not go about with any other gods. Compare this to, “You’ve been going out with another woman!” QED.

It is perhaps because of Her jealousy of other shes that She ordained that women should be subservient to men; women should be seen and not heard.

On the other hand, as Mr. Twain has pointed out, She took particularly acute pleasure in smiting all those who “pisseth against a wall.” Does this attitude reflect incipient feminist leanings on Her part, in spite of Her pronouncements against women’s rights? If so, it is a clear sign of schizophrenia.

Y wasted no time in instituting a double standard which later fervents have found difficult to improve on. She insisted on the one hand that “Thou shalt not steal” or “… commit adultery” or a number of other things that people already enjoyed doing in that remote age. On the other hand, She instructed her followers not only to defeat their enemies, but to kill all their men and women and children and livestock and then raze their cities to the ground. Another tactic which later ages have adhered to without improving in any essential way. [2]

Y was so gung-ho on defending the ascension and future of her followers’ tribe, that She comes across like coach, cheerleader and commander-in-chief of the armies all combined.

Step 2

Later, a chap — whom we will call simply X — came along who was tired of all this. He started preaching that Y was really a good guy (Parkinson was not born yet.) and wanted all men to be good to each other. Who can argue with that? Well, a lot of people did — and many still do today. So X was put to death in a particularly gruesome Roman way. [3] A legend quickly grew up that he was an avatar of Y, rather like Krishna was an avatar of Vishnu. In fact, X himself contributed to this idea.

Since then, X’s teachings have been pretty much eviscerated by his followers, who use a distorted version of his ideas to predict and recruit for their own future victory over the rest of “Creation” (i.e., their enemies). It is not a pretty story. And in it, X/Y carries on as coach, cheerleader and  commander-in-chief of the armies, eventually also taking on the jobs of judge and head of the Chamber of Commerce.

In principle, She will bring about an end to it all, at which time she will gleefully commit those who were not faithful to Her to an eternity of ghastly and unthinkable tortures, of which that G rating prevents further description. (See any medieval European church altar.[4]) Her True Followers, it is presumed, will have choice seats in the grandstands to view this edifying spectacle. Nice.

Since then, generous use of murder, torture and other means of coercion has led to this version of the Delusion being adopted across much of the world, making it the world’s chief Delusion.

Step 3

Some 600 or so years later, another chap — call him M — was hanging out in a desert cave and had some hallucinations wherein an angel came to him and … Well, in brief, he came up with a new set of characteristics and statements for what/whom he claimed was the same (and only) god, who now changed his name again and became known as A.

Now M had a difficult choice to make: Would A be a good person like X or a violent and bloody-minded war monger like Y? It seems the choice was too much for him, because he picked both. A’s sacred book now repeats over and over that She is merciful, while reminding Her followers that they should not shun from killing unmercifully all those who disagree with their ideas, should any conflict arise. And history has shown far too many of them to be obedient children.

Soon, A’s followers succeeded in spreading Her worship across a rather sizable hunk of the world — by means of the sword and more non-G-rated activities, of course. In such a way, A’s Delusion has become the world’s number 2 Delusion, just after X’s.

As far as women are concerned, A not only adopted Y’s attitude, but carried it on to new depths, even indicating how they should dress. In this version, women should be neither seen nor heard.

Incidentally, most of A’s followers would be royally ticked off at the idea that She is not a He!


[1]In fact, the whole idea may have come up later, during the period when Abraham’s tribe was held captive in Egypt. This revisionist history was intended to firm up the tribe’s hope for their future. Sort-of like what politicos are preaching in some well-known countries today.
[2]As Mr Dawkins has pointed out, She “…is one of the most disagreeable characters in all of fiction.”
[3]The desire to obtain a “G” rating prevents us from describing the horrible end in question. The strangest thing is that his perverted followers insist on hanging up a symbol of his unbearable torture in their own bedrooms. Must keep them awake nights.
[4]The Xian Church has never worried about G ratings.